‘Forrest Gump’ by Nishiology
Anil Dashes A Reply To Frank Hilario’s
Anil Dash writes 15 January 2007 in his self-titled blogsite these not-very-flattering lines:
I found Frank Hilario’s rant entitled Microsoft’s Mr Bill Gates And The Boy Who Cried Worp to be largely incoherent, but from what I could deduce, he thinks my assessment of Microsoft Office 2007 is off-base. Actually, he says:
If you can’t beat them, don’t join them; instead, change the rules of the game. That’s what Worperer Microsoft did with Word 2007, Paul Thurrott (2006, cited) says. Yes. Anil Dash (2006, cited) says: ‘By radically changing the user interface in Office 2007, Microsoft made the riskiest bet in the history of commercial software. And I think they’re going to win the bet.’ Wanna bet?
So, here’s another idea, also from me: Go get a fresh tablet of stone and etch on it the idea of an entirely new word processor. Worperers of the world, unite! You have nothing to lose but your worps!
Once you’ve lost your worps, you may enjoy Rafe’s musings …
You may appreciate more my reaction below if first you browse my article published by the American Chronicle.
Now then, I find Anil’s dash of a response intriguing in many ways:
(1)
He didn’t even bother to put in the complete and correct title to my article, and the source. These are: ‘Software IQ. Microsoft’s Mr Bill Gates And The Boy Who Cried Worp,’ published by the American Chronicle 12 January 2007. It doesn’t need high IQ to notice ‘Sofware IQ,’ does it? My article had a hidden agenda: Test your software IQ. His was a rush to judgment. You can’t read me if you’re in a hurry; I don’t write for busy people.
(2)
He calls the whole of my Software IQ article a rant, meaning a violent, loud, or extravagant speech or bombast (American Heritage Dictionary). Extravagant, yes: I was extravagant in my praise of Microsoft Word (XP and 2003); I called Word 2003 the best word processor today, bar none. Violent? No. I didn’t use any violent or abusive word; neither name-calling nor swearing is my style. But I did say that the new Microsoft Word (Word 2007) drives me crazy! I explained why it did. And I said that with Word 2007 Microsoft doesn’t quite hack it. I denied Microsoft’s claim of simplicity; I said I couldn’t see The Ribbon at all (‘The emperor has no clothes!’); I said the tab-menu (Ribbon) is comical and incongruous; I said there was no logic to the menu; I said it was a horrendous oversight to rename the Style sheet as Home. My writing was loud? Maybe. I can’t write a short article, and I’m very passionate about what I write, especially about Microsoft Word. Bombastic, meaning having exaggerated dignity or being pretentious? I don’t think so. I present all the facts that I am familiar with, and explain them lengthily, and then I conclude. In the article, I do not pretend to know more than I am able to see.
(3)
He calls my Software IQ largely incoherent. If you read in a dash, oh yes, my article is largely incoherent. Early on, you will trip on your own toes if you don’t mind that I invent words to help me say what I want to say: worp (word processor), worper (worp user), worperer (worp creator), Worder (user of Word), worping (word processing).
Let’s see now; here’s the very first paragraph of my Sofware IQ:
Shockingly innovative is Microsoft’s Office 2007, and I’m convinced that its appearance is evidence that its rival, OpenOffice 2, is winning the game with its suite of application programs equivalent to those of Office 2003, which means that what is 4 years older is as good as new. Office 2007 with a unique user interface is in response to the redoubtable challenge of OpenOffice; Microsoft’s Gambit is: If the enemy is game, change the rules of the game. I’d say Microsoft has high IQ.
The clues are there: shockingly innovative, unique user interface, OpenOffice 2 equivalent to Office 2003, winning the game, change the rules of the game.
If you don’t understand the first paragraph, I forgive you. But right in the middle of my article, I give what I call Frank’s IQ Test For Word Processors, where I enumerate 57 basic and advanced word processing commands (based on Word 2003) and dare you to look for each of them in Word 2007 and time yourself – I am sure you will have a hell of a time. Indeed, Word 2007 fails my Software IQ test. In fact, Word 2007 makes life much more difficult for expert and novice users of Word alike.
My Software IQ is a rant that is largely incoherent, eh? Maybe Anil Dash doesn’t like my rating scale (from Good to Bad): Expert, Professional, Advanced, Neophyte, Trying Hard. Or maybe I’m really Forrest Gump.
